I can't sleep. My mind is running on hopeless thoughts & useless memories. I'm calling my doctor's today to hopefully get a surgery date. I've already confirmed to myself what I'm going to do. Double mastectomy. Wow. I would have never in a million crazy thoughts, would ever think that something like this would happen to ME. That at 22 years old, I would be facing the thoughts of removing my breasts. I know they don't define who I am, but jeeze.. what a crazy life. I was planning ideas of where to move & live, but now I'm planning what's the best thing to do for me. What will minimize MY risk of cancer coming up elsewhere. So much life ahead of me & I have to live through a torturous nightmare. I will shine. I will succeed. I will beat the living hell out of cancer.
I'M A WARRIOR QUEEN.
"Yeah, you've been dealt a bad hand. Placed against a stacked deck
Been through all the cat scans and bad checks
But I slashed your debt. Not your wrists
And I couldn't help with anything else that became cancerous..
It's been a hell of a year
You said that I ain't there, I ain't care, and life ain't fair
It's been a hell of a trip."
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