63

63 is the odds of me living a long life. Crazy. It's not a terrible number, but it's not the ideal percentage I'd like. I see this number in a form of a grade, I'm a D- in this fucked up world. I'm technically failing at life, no? Not going to lie, but when I went to the doctor yesterday & he went over everything, this blew me out of the water. So surreal seeing those things in print. You imagine it, but once you see it, it's a different ball game. I pray with all my being that I get the chance to live a long, relatively healthy, life...

The next thing I wanted to talk about was death. We got the news about 2 weeks ago that my uncle decided to go into hospice. He has pancreatic cancer & it's spreading & the chemo isn't working. This sucks. Cancer sucks. Dying sucks. But dying is a side effect from cancer... Luckily, with hospice, he won't have to worry so much about the horrible pain he has to experience & he can pass on somewhat comfortable. My parent's & other uncle went to visit him & I stayed with my nana. I wanted to say goodbye one last time face to face, but my nana didn't want to go. It hurts her too much. I've been wanting to at least call him & speak with him while he still can & tell him how much I love him & what a great man he is. But I haven't been able to do it. I'm scared. I'm sad.

FUCK CANCER!