I haven't been feeling to great lately, but I try my best to keep a smile on & move forward. I've been so exhausted lately, but I feel if I even say that I am people won't believe me. As if you need to be bald to look or feel sick. One of the worst parts of cancer is the aftermath, even though technically I'm not officially in remission. It's difficult to move on from it and figure out your next step. I did my pet scan on Tuesday & now we wait for those results. I'm nervous as hell & I think that's why I've been so tired & feeling moody. Well that & probably my meds is what's causing all of these emotions. I do feel a bit empty right now & feeling self-conscious isn't helping me either. Luckily I'm not allowing myself to sulk into a deep depression. I started exercising & I hope I start to see some results physically, emotionally, & mentally.
LIFE IS REALLY UNFAIR
Ugh, I'm just so angry with life sometimes! I'm looking for jobs, no luck. I keep having dreams of getting married & having children & I feel like it's haunting me. It's breaking my heart.. I want that normal life, whatever it is, but I want my normal. I want to fast-forward to 10 years from now & see where I'm at. I pray to God that I'm alive, married, babies running around, a steady job that I love. If only..
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